BrahmaStuti, praise of Lord by Brahma - Feedback of the translation

I am requesting to all learned member here to post the feedback about my translation on the book Brahmastuti. As I am new to this translation field, I like to take your advice, feedback and suggestions to improve qulaity of my translation. Also if somebody feels he can take up the job of traslation from the original book, I am ready to healp him. As I will be back to India within 2- 3 months I can co-ordinate with the author Rama bandyapadhya about any further explanation.

Anywas I will be translating this book "BrahmaStuti" gradually and will be posting on GD on regular basis for the devotee to relish, I will look forward for suggestion to make it more attractive, more sweet. Specially I like to know from the western view point how to mold the language to make it more effective.

My translation on GD can by found under this post here

I think you are a great job, Dasanudasji. It makes me want to go back to the Bhagavat to re-read the Brahma-vimohana-lila again.

Regarding grammar and all , I suppose we can work on that. Do you think it would be better to hold off the suggestions until the posting is complete, and then help to re-write it as a Word doc or something?

I especially liked the sections about being too proud to be touched by the flood-waters of prema, and also the part which explains how Krsnacandra fulfilled the desires of the elder Gopis and cows to have Him as their sons and calves respectively. That was very sweet.

Thanks for feedback. I hope you can start putting the translation, as it will certainly take time to finish the entire translation(FYI the book consist of nearly 400 pages, and I have translated and posted only first 18 pages). I am taking this feedback and suggestion as an iterative process, to polish the translation. I must admit I have not given much time for review, because my motive was to post it asap and then get as much feedback as possible, to make it better.

Thanks Gaura

Regards
dasanudas

I would first of all like to thank Dasanudasji for the tremendous work he is doing. Considering that English isn't your first language, the text is very readable and flows well. With regards to corrections, I would suggest that they be left for the end; as long as the translation flows and there is inspiration, let it flow and come out. Sometimes an excessive processing of details stiffles the flow, in particular when it's a "hobby" translation.