TuGgavidyA said: “O sakhIs! Listen to an amazing story!”
Everyone said: Sakhi! What is that amazing story?
TuGgavidyA said: “Have you ever heard of an AcArya named KAntadarpa (pride of the lover)?
LalitA said: “I have heard of him through the paramparA but I don’t know any details!”
TuGgavidyA said: “His beloved disciple, named ZyAmala Mizra, has made four kinds of commentaries on KAntadarpAcArya’s sUtra, named sandhi-catuSTayAkhyAta-kRd-vRtti. Have you seen them?”
VizAkhA said: ViSNu! ViSNu! What to speak of seeing this thesis, I’ve never even heard of it!”
LalitA meaningfully said: “TuGgavidye! Where did you meet this AcArya?
TuGgavidyA said: “One evening I came to the village of SakhIsthalI to seek out ZyAmala Mizra to learn from him about the thesis on a certain MahApadmApsarA or the great PadmA-river (pun: The dearmost girlfriend of CandravalI, who lives in SakhIsthalI, is named PadmA).
Then I (kRSNa) said: TuGgavidye! How can the PadmA-river flow so far away from its actual region?”
TuGgavidyA said: “Due to nikAma-vanyA (great flood, or a deluge of lust)!”
Hearing this, everyone smiled.
LalitA said: “And then? What happened after that?”
TuGgavidyA said: “AlIka Raja PaNDita (the royal counselor of falsehood), who is non-different from ZyAmala Mizra, has published four theses, first narma-paJjikA (manual on joking humor) and kraya-vikraya-paJjikA (manual on purchase and sale), and now also alIka-paJjikA (manual on how to lie) and AdAna-pradAna-paJjikA (manual on taking and giving). I think you have also heard these four theses, be it under different names, in due course.”
LalitA said: “Yes we have heard them and we have also experienced them in a beautiful way.”
TuGgavidyA said: “His fellow pupil in shamelessness, Kuhaka BhaTTa (the professor in trickery), who is even more intelligent and wise than the others, has begun to integrate these four theses”.
CampakalatA said: TuGgavidye! You are learned in all sciences, therefore we are all eager to learn the appellation of these four authors of scripture (kAnta-darpAcArya, ZyAmala Mizra, AlIka Raja PaNDita and Kuhaka BhaTTa) from you!”
vizAkhA said: “The meaning of the two titles AcArya and bhaTTa are easily understood, therefore please explain us the appellations of the two others, mizra and paNDita.”
TuGgavidyA laughed and said: “There are faults in him, there are virtues in him, therefore he is a mixed person and thus known as mizra.”
NAndImukhI asked: “What are the faults? And what are the virtues?”
TuGgavidyA replied: “His fault is that he does not consider where to be clever and where not to be clever. Not considering what is best and what is not best due to an excess of simplicity, and being equipoised without discrimination is the great virtue.”
LalitA smiled slightly and said: “Thus the title mizra is justified.”
CitrA said: “Please now explain us the appellation of the word paNDita?”
TuGgavidyA said: “The intelligence that distinguishes between good and bad is called paNDA, and a person who has such paNDA is called a paNDita. But this paNDita is so proud of His intelligence that on the ground of the scriptural injunction pUrvAparayoH para-vidhir balavAn - of the former and the latter, the latter injunction is more powerful, he takes the latter, that bad behaviour is paNDA, to be the rule. He who fully takes shelter of that mentality and is endowed with, is a paNDita in His case.”
[Translation by Advaita Das]
to be continued...
NAndImukhI said: “SudevI! listen! These four men are actually one lad known as Kuhaka BhaTa. On the strength of his excellent magic trickery this young bachelor Kuhaka Bhatta accomplishes His own pleasure games with different activities by manifesting one form with the title KAntadarpAcArya and then another one with the title zyAmala Mizra. Obviously this zyAmala Mizra has no separate form from AlIka-rAja PaNDita, but this lad zyAmalAcArya is always virtuous. He clearly accepted an alter ego under the alternative name of AlIka-rAja PaNDita, to make His pastimes especially pleasant so that He can freely enjoy expanding His blissful turmoil with his relatives.”
* * * *
CampakalatA slightely smiled and said: TuGgavidye! This BhaTTa pAda has two arms, and these two arms are also very tender. How was he then able to write four commentaries at once?”
TuGgavidyA said: “O foolish girl! On the strength of his own magic this BhaTTapAda is able to manifest four arms!”
LalitA said: True, true! In the spring during the blissful RAsa festival, in a forest named PraviSTaka near ParAsalI He reveals His four arms, so that He can steal the jewels of other men’s wives within a nikuJja. To deceive all the cowherd women He conceals His wonderful sweetness, which is His hallmark, by manifesting these four arms on the strength of His own magic trickery.”
