I was given the day off today by my wonderful wife, Wendy, for Gaura Purnima. Thanks to her sweet consideration, I had a wonderful day of personal bhajan.
I took a two hour japa walk after chanting my rounds and immediately apon my return, I sat down and wrote the following poem to Mahaprabhu. It is exactly how it came out...un-edited and spontaneous.
I don't want to take up a whole thread just for this poem, nor do I want it to be out of place amongst other posts and forgotten. I thought perhaps some of you might have poetry/prose you have written for and/or about Mahaprabhu, Radha-Krsna, Acaryas, etc... and would care to share.
I am becoming very fond of my poem the more I read and re-read it. It came off abit brutish and informal, and I think that definately reflects the state of my devotional creeper...stunted, beginning to wilt, in desperate need of watering. I am standing on the edge of a cliff, flailing my arms and contorting my body in a last dich attempt to keep myself from going over. I think this poem captured a brief glimpse of this.
The Session
bh.Neal C. ~ Gaura Purnima 2005
Hey, Sri Krnsa Caitanya
Hey Mahaprabhu...
Yeah, It's me, again...
I know I said I could do it this time,
How long ago was that?
You see, I can't seem to recall
A trusted Friend informs me
That it has been too long already
I left thinking I'd give it a go
Get my own place, throw my own parties
Mr. Popular, Mr. Trip, Mr. Snuggles
Mrs. even, I am sure, now that I'm certain
This you already know
You were so kind to let me try
Set me up real nice infact
I hear I played God real good at that.
There was a few us us that left, wasn't there?
Amazing, really, leaving you...
Perplexing love & compassion
Twisting up inside
Rather thin & frayed
Tethered body
Dirty window
Looking backI see
This "I"
Ouch.
You've been by
I couldn't face you directly then
Foolish pride & all that shame
But something got thru
Your precious name, wasn't it?
That little dose
That itch
I have had enough, really
This bum-trip
Your in this head I have
All of the time
Your attraction is working
I fight it, I know
I want it though
Sweet melodies, sweet words
Eternal beating drum
Kartals ringing beacon
You dance so beautifully
Can I sit in on this?
I've been practicing, you see.
Count me in this Session...
Anything for You.
Anything for You.
