Why do those old ladies hit you with sticks? - Not too controversial question I hope

She might have also mixed in a very, very little bit of anger not getting an adequate amount of baksish from western Vaisnavas visiting Vrindavana dhama.........

Actually there is a festival like this in Sri Rangam every year. Once a year Lord Ranganatha goes on his palanquin out of the temple and over the river Kaveri to another temple. There He visits one of His consorts. When He returns He makes His way to the Ranganayaki (Laksmi) shrine near the North Gate of the Temple. There is a conversation between the two (husband and wife) Ranganatha and Ranganayaki (Narayana and Laksmi). This conversation is spoken over loud speakers by the temple priests. Before you go to this festival everyone asks you whose side you are on. Narayana's or Laksmi's. Because when Ranganatha come to Ranganayaki's temple to be with Her, She closes the door on Him. And Her servants actually beat and throw stuff on His servants and His palanquin.

What's it all about:

Well when Ranganatha comes to Her temple She asks Him where He has been. He replies that He has been with His devotees. She however suspects Him of infidelity. So She locks Him out. Then She says why do you look so tired? He says that He responded in the middle of the night to the prayers of His devotees. She says why are you so desheveled? He says that He went to the forest where His rishi devotees were meditating. So since He has been in the forest He looks a little desheveled. She says I think those scrathes and bruises on You have been made by another woman. He says He was scratched by some thorns on bushes in the forest and since it was night He might have bumped into some things in the dark and received some bruises.

She doesn't buy it.

Beating and throwing begins.

Ranganatha appeals to Nam Alvar (the head of the Alvars/devotees) to act as an intermediary (he takes the part of Her father). Nam Alvar goes to Ranganayaki and pleads with her to accept Her husband back and forgive Him (it seems he can't convince Her that He is innocent).

No dice.

Ranganayaki stands firm and refuses to let Ranganatha in, even though Nam Alvar (acting as her father) pleads His case to Her.

Things look bad.

Finally Ranganayaki asks Nam Alvar to describe the scene outside for Her. He explains that the Ranganatha is there along with some many devotee guests. When She hears that there are devotee guests waiting at Her doorstep she thinks "Atithi devo bhava" "The guest should be treated like a God". So immediately She opens the doors to receive the devotees. At this time Ranganatha slips in with them.

Finally Lord Ranganatha and Goddess Ranganayaki arereconciled and seated together high up in a raised mandapa looking out over all the devotees. This is the beginning of the Panguni Uttiram festival. This is the most important festival of surrender for Sri Vaisnavas. All the devotees come once a year before the Lord Ranganatha on the only day of the year when He is seated together with the Supreme Goddess, Ranganayaki. Then they all surrender themselves at their Divine feet by first chanting Saranagati Gadhya of Sripad Ramanuja and then offering worship and circumambulating the Divine Couple. For Sri Vaisnavas, Sri or Ranganayaki (or Laksmi) is very important (that's why it's called Sri Sampradaya). She is the mediatrix who pleads our case before the Lord. Without Her we could not hope to directly approach the Lord. And even if we were able to do so we would not be able to gain his favor. (Behind every great man is a woman, no exceptions)

(Personal note: The first time I witnessed this ceremony, I stood with my wife on the outside with the Lord and took His side in the dispute. However I have since had many chances to be on the other side.)

When we perform deity worship there are several things that we do to make ourselves pure in mind, and body before we actually touch the diety. First one should bathe and wear fresh devotional clothing and tilaka. Next perform acamana, (some will perform pranayama and sankalpa after this), then there is the process of bhuta suddhi where one uses a particular method of meditation combined with nyasas to destroy the material body and recreate it from spiritual elements and then place the deity's mantra (which is non-different from the deity Him/Herself) on one's hands and limbs by the process of kara and anga nyasa. Then with a pure mind and body and having taken permission from one's own acarya (or sakhi leader), the guruparampara (or lineage of senior gopis), the nitya siddhas, the Lord's consort(s), etc. one may at last be permitted to approach the Lord. The pujari can then touch, bathe, feed, and offer all services to the Lord. It is compulsory for the pujari to touch the lotus feet of the Lord and His consort(s). This is sometimes done with one's head. As far as kissing is concerned since I am a practitioner of Vaidhi Bhakti I have no experience of this. However I wouldn't rule it out of Raganuga sadhana. Others my be able to better advise you on this aspect. And strictly speaking all these things are learnt from one's acarya.

40 – atha shrI-mUrteH sparshanaM
yathA viSNu-dharmottare:
sprisTvA viSNor adhiSThAnaM pavitraH shraddhyAnvitaH |
pApa bandhair vinirmuktaH sarvAn kAmAn avApnuyAt || 165 ||

40 – Touching the Deity
Vishnu Dharma: "A pure, faithful person who touches the Deity is liberated from the bondage of sin and attains all his or her desires." (BRS 1.2.165)

Hey, it is not specified in this verse, by what limb of the body can devotee touch the Deity... So, I think, it can easily be lips
(just joking )