From Madhya lila,16th chapter somewhere in the middle.
And so it came to pass, Gadadhara, foremost of scholars, did resolve to accompany our lord with the others. But the lord solemly forbad his intendment saying, "You must not abandon your vow of ksetra-sannyas."
To which the scholar made reply, "Where 'er thou art, there my Nilacala is, nay, damn the vow, to hell with it." The lord then said, "But 'tis here thou must needs render service to the lord Gopinath."
"Such services are a million fold accomplished by a mere vision of thy holy feet," replied the pandit.
But our lord again insisted, "So the the service shall be abandoned, but look you, the blame will on me fall. Remain ye here and to services attend, and that would please me most."
Daunted nothing, the scholar said, "All blame I take on my own head. I'll not in thy company travel, but shall alone proceed; I go to see thy holy mother, and not for any purposes of thine. The fault of transgression with regard to vow and seva and the consiquences thereof shall be mine alone to reap."
Saying so, the pandit sequestered himself and walked alone.
And so arriving at Cattack, our lord called him again to his presence.
The scholar's love for Gauranga
Can never comprihended be;
His vow and Krsna seva- all
Like straw, as worthless, he foreswore.
Our lord was much gratified at heart by his such sweet disposition, and catching Gadadhara's hand, out of love did chide him thus;
"This thy resolve to break thy vow and thy service to abandon, having come this far, is now all but accomplished. Methinks that in thy intention to remain in my company, thou seekst thine own pleasure to contrive.
"It thus grieves me much that thou,
These two religious vows shouldst shun;
If my pleasure you should seek to know,
Then hie thee- speak not more-
To Nilacal thou must needs repair,
This to thee do I declare."
Saying so, the supreme lord stepped aboard a boat that had been moored nearby , whereat the scholar fell down in swoon senseless. Now given into the care of Sarvabhauma, the latter said, "Arise arise, our lord is ever wont to sport as such. You know that Krsna himself, ever swayed by love for his votery, would his own vow break ere his devotee's promise should false prove, as was shown in the case of Bhisma of yore. And so it is said in the holy Bhagavat;
"I shall not in this field of war take up arms",this his promise; yet the lord Krsna had to break his vow so that my vow should not blighted be. And coming on apace in all his might, upholding in his powerful arms the chariot wheel, his upper garment dropping down, in full fury he came upon me as if to end my life"
(Bhag 1,
"Aye that's the theme", continued Sarvabhauma, "our lord bears the pain of parting and thus persevers to uphold your vows."
So saying and with further consolation, both of them, much moved by grief, to Nilacal repaired.
The votery, for the lord, may shun,
Such duty and moral convention,
But obstruction of thier pious deeds,
-Our lord can n'er abide it.
This then of love is the paradox, and he that hears it, soon, no doubt,
Caitanya's lotus-feet attains.