March Meditations - This is where I belong.

There are three categories of nayika, in accordance with the way they show their anger to their lovers.

The Dhira Pragalbha shows indifference to lovemaking, conceals her feelings by outwardly remaining polite and apparently affectionate.

devI nAdya mayArciteti na hare tAmbUlam AsvAditaM
zilpaM te paricitya tapsyati gRhIty aGgI kRtA na srajaH |
AhUtAsmi gRhe vrajezitur iti kSipraM vrajantyA vacas
tasyAzrAvi na bhadrayeti vinayair mAnaH pramANIkRtaH ||

O Hari! I have not worshipped the Goddess today,
therefore I must refuse the betel nut you offer me.
I have not accepted your garlands, as my husband
will suffer on recognizing your handiwork.
I must go now, for I have been called to Nandaraja’s house—
and with these words, Bhadra sped off, ignoring Krishna’s entreaties,
politely showing her anger. (5.54)

This verse does not appear to be in all editions and only Vishwanath comments. It is quite similar to the one that follows, so probably interpolated as an earlier/later alternative. I think the following one is actually better.

kaNThe nAdya karomi durvrata-hatA ramyAm imAM te srajaM
vaktuM suSThu na hi kSamAsmi kaThinair maunaM dvijair grAhitA |
kA tvAM projjhya calet khaleyam aciraM zvazrUr na ced Ahvayed
itthaM pAlikayA harau vinayato manyur gabhIrIkRtaH ||

I am busily engaged in religious observances today,
so I cannot accept this beautiful garland of yours.
The priests who are guiding me through them are very strict
and have instructed me to take a vow of silence. I cannot talk with you.
What woman in this world would just leave you and walk off?
But I am afraid my cruel mother-in-law is calling me.
With these polite words, Palika showed just how deeply angry she was. (5.55)

kucAlambhe pANir na hi mama bhavatyA vighaTito
muhuz cumbArambhe mukham api na sAcIkRtam abhUt |
parIrambhe candrAvali na ca vapuH kuJcitam idaM
kva labdhA mAnasya sthitir iyam anAlokita-carI ||

When I go to touch your breast,
you do not push my hand away.
every time I start to kiss you,
you do not turn your face away.
And when I envelop you in my arms,
you do not cringe or struggle.
Dear Chandravali, where have you gotten
this novel way of showing your anger?
I have never seen its like before. (5.56)

This is an example of the dhira-pragalbha from Alankara-kaustubha.

kiM pAdAntam upaiSi nAsmi kupitA naivAparAddho bhavAn
nirhetu na hi jAyate kRta-dhiyAM kopo’parAdho’thavA |
yogyA eva hi bhogyatAM dadhati te tat kiM mayAyogyayA
tenAdyAvadhi gokulendra-tanaya svAtatnryam evAstu te ||

Why are you falling at my feet?
I am not angry. You have done nothing wrong.
Those who are wise neither take nor commit offense without cause.
She who is worthy will bring you joy,
so what need have you of someone unworthy, like me?
O prince of Gokula! May you ever enjoy your independence.

[a.kau. 5.79]

The adhira-pragalbha, on the other hand, gets angry, speaks cruelly and even resorts to physical violence, hitting her offending lover.

mugdhAH kaMsaripo vayaM racayituM jAnImahe nocitaM
tAM nIti-krama-kovidAM priya-sakhIM vandemahi zyAmalAm |
mallI-dAmabhir ucchalan-madhukaraiH saMyamya kaNThe yayA
sAkSepaM cakitekSaNas tvam asakRt karNotpalais tADyase ||

We are foolish girls, O enemy of Kamsa!
We don't know how to act appropriately.
We can only bow down to our dear friend Shyamala,
who is well educated and expert in such matters.
She took your flower garland, swarming with bees,
and tying it around your neck, held you in place
while she repeatedly smacked you with her flower ear ornament,
her eyes fiery with anger.

Shyamala serves as the example here, not the speaker of the verse.

On to Yuthesvaris. Radhika is "atyantadhika."

tAvad bhadrA vadati caTulaM phullatAm eti pAlI
zAlInatvaM tyajati vimalA zyAmalAhaGkaroti |
svairaM candrAvalir api calaty unnamayyottamAGgaM
yAvat karNe na hi nivizate hanta rAdheti mantraH ||

Bhadra will be able to flatter herself,
Pali become inflated with pride,
Vimala will feel free to ignore her good manners,
and Shyamala think that she alone is the best,
while Chandravali will walk about with her chin held high,
for only as long as the two-letter mantra, Ra-dha,
does not enter their ears.(UN 7.7)

Vishwanath says this verse can be seen as more full of rasa if taken as Shyamala's statement. Vishnudas takes it to be Vrinda speaking.

On to chapter 8, the chapter on Dutis. This is an interesting chapter from several points of view. It is far more extensive than any treatment of the subject in any other comparable work. At the same time, it makes particular use of a very important theme used in the theory of Sanskrit poetics, namely “vyaGgya”—whereby a hidden implied meaning is suggested, providing the relish in the particular verse. It is considered far less interesting if someone, especially a woman, speaks openly and directly of her desires. Therefore, the double entendre is a much more interesting approach.

[Padyavali 257]

dRSTyA kezava gopa-rAga-hatayA kiJcin na dRSTaM mayA
tenAdya skhalitAsmi nAtha patitAM kiM nAma nAlambase
ekas tvaM viSameSu khinna-manasAM sarvAbalAnAM gatir
gopyaivaM gaditaH salezam avatAd goSThe harir vaz ciram

Meaning #1—

“O Krishna! I saw nothing,
blinded as I was by the dust raised by the cows
and so I have stumbled.
Will you not give support to one who is falling?
Are you not the only support for a frail woman
whose mind is troubled by such an uneven path?”

May that Hari who, standing in the cowpen,
was addressed by the milkmaid with these equivocal words,
preserve us for all eternity.

Meaning #2—

“O Krishna! I saw nothing,
drawn as I was by love for you, the cowherd;
I have thus strayed from the path of morality --
will you not behave like a husband to me?
Are you not the only refuge for a frail woman
whose mind is being troubled by Cupid and his piercing arrows?”

May that Hari who, standing in the cowpen,
was addressed by the milkmaid with these equivocal words,
preserve us for all eternity.

This verse is anonymous and not quoted elsewhere as far as I can see.

—o)0(o—

[Padyavali 309]

sakhyo yayur gRham ahaM kalazIM vahantI
pUrNAm atIva-mahatIm anulambitAsmi
ekAkinIM spRzasi mAM yadi nandasUno
mokSyAmi jIvanam idaM sahasA puras te

My girlfriends have already left for home,
leaving me carrying this full jar on my head;
it is very heavy and is slowing me down terribly.
If you touch me now, O Son of Nanda, while I am all alone,
I shall give up my life right here in front of you..

But jivanam can mean both life and water, so “I shall put this jar of water down, right here in front of you.” This is Rupa’s own verse, not quoted elsewhere, as far as I can see.

—o)0(o—

The above two examples are called zabdottha-vyaGgya, because the implication arises from a double meaning hidden in the words themselves. The following example is called arthottha-vyaGgya, because the implication arises from the overall meaning.

[Padyavali 250]

svAmI mugdhataro vanaM ghanam idaM bAlAham ekAkinI
kSauNIm AvRNute tamAla-malina-cchAyA-tamaH-santatiH
tan me sundara kRSNa muJca sahasA vartmeti rAdhA-giraH
zrutvA tAM parirabhya manmatha-kalAsakto hariH pAtu vaH

“My husband is probably worrying about me [the fool],
for here I am, a young girl
and all alone, deep in the woods
where the deep dark tamala trees
cast their black shadows over the ground.
Therefore, Krishna, O handsome one,
make way for me immediately!”

Upon hearing Radha say these words,
Krishna immediately embraced her.
May that God, attached to the art of love, deliver you.

This verse is originally found in Sahitya Darpana (3.266). I think there is some double entendre. mugdhatara would mean "great fool", but also "soft-hearted", meaning "My husband is probably worrying about me."

—o)0(o—

[Padyavali 207]

gacchAmy acyuta darzanena bhavataH kiM tRptir utpadyate
kiM tv evaM vijana-sthayor hata-janaH sambhAvayaty anyathA
ity AmantraNa-bhaGgi-sUcita-vRthAvasthAna-khedAlasAm
AzliSyan pulakotkarAJcita-tanur gopIM hariH pAtu vaH

O infallible one! I am leaving.
What pleasure comes [just] from seeing you?
And who knows what unpleasantness may befall
an unfortunate person like me
when we are in an isolated place like this.

Recognizing this as an invitation
not to waste a great opportunity
from a girl who was bored and tired,
Krishna embraced her, his hairs standing on end with excitement.

May he deliver us all.

This verse is found in a number of places: Rasarnava-sudhakara 1.479, Kavya-prakasa 127, etc., Nataka-candrika 260, etc.

Observe that three of the four above verses are in the form of a blessing.

The dhIRA nAyikA

dhIrA kAnta dUre dekhi kare pratyutthAna
nikaTe Asile kare Asana pradAna
hRde kopa mukhe kahe madhura vacana
priya AliGgite tAGre kare AliGgana
sarala vyavahAre kare mAnera poSaNa
kiM vA solluNTha-vAkye kare priya nirasana

The patient mistress gets up when she sees her lover from afar, and when he comes near, she politely offers him a seat. Though her heart is filled with anger, she continues to speak sweetly. When he hugs her, she hugs him back. She fosters her feelings of anger with polite behavior, though occasionally she gives gives him a jab with a sarcastic comment.

adhIrA paruSair vAkyair
nirasyed vallabhaM ruSA

The adhira on the other hand angrily puts down her lover with cruel words.

uttuGga-stana-maNDalI-sahacaraH kaNThe sphurann eSa te
hAraH kaMsaripo kSapA-vilasitaM niHsaMzayaM zaMsati
dhUrtAbhIra-vadhU-pratArita-mate mithyA-kathA-ghargharI-
jhaGkAronmukhara prayAhi tarasA yuktAtra nAvasthitiH

O enemy of Kamsa! The garland dangling around your neck
was covering her elevated breasts only yesterday
This tells me you have surely spent the night with her.
Your mind has been deceived by the wicked cowherd brides,
So just leave—you don’t belong here.
Stop trying to drown out the thunderous noise of truth
with the jingling little bells of your lies. (UN 5.38)

dhIrAdhIrA tu vaktroktyA
sa-bASpaM vadati priyam

The dhIrAdhIrA nAyikA alternates between sarcastic and then endearing words, shedding tears all the while. (UN 5.39)

The following example of this is given in the Ujjvala Nilamani.

gopendranandana na rodaya yAhi yAhi
sA te vidhAsyati ruSaM hRdayAdhidevI
tvan-mauli-mAlya-hRta-yAvaka-paGkam asyAH
pAda-dvayaM punar anena vibhUSayAdya

“O prince of Vraja! Don’t block my path. Get away, get away!
The titulary goddess of your heart will be angry with you
The garland in your hair is covered with the saffron paste from her feet,
so take it back and use it to decorate her feet again.”

Vishwanath elaborates on this verse in his commentary. One day, Radharani was angry with Krishna and said to him, “You have millions of girls like myself who are ready to serve you. What loss will it be for you if I should cry myself to death? Go away, go away. Don’t stand there making me cry. If you go away I’ll be able to forget you, but if you stand there I won’t.

"But allow me to give you a word of advice: If your beloved mistress hears that you are here with me, she will be angry and then you will be in trouble. If you should ask, 'How will she know that I am here?' that’s easy--she is the titulary deity of your heart. She dwells within you and so nothing you do is unknown to her.

"Your turban is red with the vermilion she used to decorate her feet, so go back and place your head under her feet. That is where they belong.”

The following poem is found in part in the Chaitanya Charitamrita. The variant readings diverge somewhat. This is the version found in Ananta Das's Rasa Darshan.

ki kahaba sakhi Ananda ora
cira dine mAdhava mandire mora
pApa sudhAkara jata duHkha dela
harimukha darazane tata sukha bhela
AMcara bhariyA yadi mahAnidhi pAi
tabu hAma piyA dUra deze nA pAThAi
zItera oDhanI piyA girISera bAo
variSAra chatra piyA dariyAra nAo
vidyApati kaha zuna vara nAri
sujanaka duHkha divasa dui cAri

O sakhi ! How can I describe the extent of my joy?
After so long a time, Madhava is finally back in my house.
As much distress as the moon of his absence caused me,
the sight of his face has brought me that much joy and more.
Even if someone were to fill my shawl with valuable jewels,
I would not let my beloved leave again for a faraway place.

My beloved is the cloak I wear in winter, the cooling breeze in summer.
My beloved is my umbrella in the rain, and my boat in the flood.
Vidyapati says, “Listen, my lovely lady,
The distresses of the pious person last only for a day or two.

Found this today while looking for something else and posted it on my site. Be Born as Radha in your next life.

When I was a babaji in India, one of my most memorable experiences came when travelling on one of those long distance locals north of Katwa. I was headed to Rampur Hat, which is the nearest train station to Ekchakra, the birthplace of Lord Nityananda.

North of Katwa, things really change. You lose practically all vestiges of modern India. Nothing like those local commuter trains with a crush of Calcutta babus commuting, or cars of tired hawkers with their cannisters of milk and baskets of produce, the floor ankle deep in rotting banana leaves and tossed out guavas. Nor is it anything like those long-distance trains between Calcutta and Delhi, or an air-conditioned super express train from Howrah to Madras.

This is the local slow train, winding through the backside of Bengal into the Santal Paraganas of Bihar. Small-market stuff. A party of Santals going to a marriage in a distant village.

This is also Baul country. and it was a Baul musician who very strongly affected me with the following song. He was dressed in white and playing the one-stringed gourd instrument called the ektara, jingling his ankle bells to give the rhythm. He sang with so much feeling, and the minute he uttered Radha’s name, I was totally absorbed in his song. Though other people were there in the train, which was only moderately crowded, I felt that he was singing just for me. Before it was over, tears were pouring from my eyes. I literally emptied my pockets for that Baul busker, and I would do it again. I felt that I could even become a Baul just for this song.

Recently, I found the same song on a CD “Musique du monde” called “Inde: Chants d’initiation des Bauls de Bengale.” When I saw the title, I immediately bought the record. Though on the whole there is some pretty bad singing on this album, luckily the 8’45” version of “Be born as Radha in your next life” (as the title is given there), with dotara and kartal accompaniment, is every bit as good as I remember it from that day. I transcribed it as best as I could, with all the repetitions and everything, and provide a translation. This is Radha, cursing Krishna to become Gauranga.

Be born as Radha in your next life.

Refrain:

para janame amari moton
radha hoio tumi priya
para janame amari moton
radha hoio tumi priya

In your next life, O dear one,
become like me, Radha.

(1)

sundara viraha -- mone hobe jena
sundara viraha -- mone hobe jena
keno kande braja-bala
para-janame hobe radha

para janame amari moton
radha hoio tumi priya

When you bear the separation from your handsome lover,
then you will know why the girls of Braja cried.
You will be Radha in your next life.
In your next life, O dear one,
become Radha like me.

(2)
shyama raya
kandiya kandiya amari moton tumi
kandiya krishna krishna nama vadane bolibe
kandiya kandiya amari moton tumi
kandiya krishna krishna nama vadane bolibe
na maniya monodi badha

para janame hobe radha
para janame amari moton
radha hoia tumi priya

Like me, you will cry and cry,
And crying, call out Krishna’s name.
Like me, you will cry and cry,
And crying, call out Krishna’s name,
without any regard for the world outside.

You will be Radha in your next life.
In your next life, O dear one,
become Radha like me.

(3)
bujhibe jokhon narira bedon
shyama raya shyama raya
bujhibe jokhon narira bedon
radhar porane koto byetha
para janame hobe radha

para janame amari moton
radha hoia tumi priya

Then you will understand how much women suffer,
Just how Radha’s life is full of pain.,
Shyama, O Shyama!
Then you will understand how much women suffer,
Just how Radha’s life is full of pain.

You will be Radha in your next life.
In your next life, O dear one,
become Radha like me.

(4)
kandayacho shyama tumi kandibe temoni
shyama raya shyama raya
kandayacho shyama tumi kandibe temoni
kandibo na ami kothin pashaniya

para janame hoio radha
para janame amari moton
radha hoio tumi priya

O Shyama, then you will cry,
just as you made me cry.
Shyama O Shyama.
O Shyama, then you will cry,
just as you made me cry.
But I won’t cry, I’ll be as hard as stone.

You will be Radha in your next life.
In your next life, O dear one,
become Radha like me.

(5) [Repeats first verse.]

sundara viraha mone hobe jeno
keno kande braja-bala
keno kande braja-bala
sundara viraha mone hobe jeno
keno kande braja bala
keno kande braja bala

As you experience separation from your beautiful lover,
you will know why the girls of Braja cried.
As you experience separation from your beautiful lover,
you will know why the girls of Braja cried.

You will be Radha in your next life.
In your next life, O dear one,
become Radha like me.

(6)

tomara banshi-ti amara vinati
tomara banshi-ti amara vinati
eki sudhechilo sadha
para janame hoio radha
poro jonome amari moton

radha hoio tumi priya.. priya
radha hoio tumi priya.. priya
poro jonome amari moton
radha hoio tumi priya.. priya

I humbly pray to your flute,
I humbly pray to your flute,
I have revealed to you this, my desire.

You will be Radha in your next life.
In your next life, O dear one,
become Radha like me.

adoSAd doSAd vA tyajati vipine tAM yadi bhavAn
abhadraM bhadraM vA vraja-kula-pate tvAM vadatu kaH |
idaM tu krUraM me smarati hRdayaM yat kila tayA
tvad-arthaM kAntAre kula-tilaka nAtmApi gaNitaH ||

Whether it was her fault or not,
who, O master of the cowherd clan, will tell you
that you acted wrongly or rightly
when you abandoned her in the woods?

This hard heart of mine, however, remembers clearly,
that on the lonely forest trails, most noble prince,
she never thought of herself, but only of you.

Padyavali 297, attributed to Ramachandra Das, quoted in Ujjvala-nilamani 8.40 as an instance of the dakshina sakhi arguing on behalf of Radha to Krishna. Jiva does not comment, but Vishwanath has a few things to say.

He places this verse in the Rasa dance, where Krishna abandons Radha (see 10.30.40. One of her sakhis, sees her in a faint due to separation from Krishna and goes into the forest to look for him on her behalf. When she finds him, she chides him with these words. Of course, Radha is faultless, but it may be thought that she was at fault when she told Krishna, "Take me wherever you like" (10.30.38), but in fact, the pride she displayed there is entirely appropriate for the "svAdhIna-bhartRkA nAyikA." If there is any fault, it is on Krishna's part for being so egotistical that he could not tolerate these words of Radha's.

"O master of the cowherd clan" [This appears in the Padyavali as "O Lord of the Three Worlds"] . You are the son of the master of Vraja, Nanda. At the same time, you are the master of the entire cowherd clan. You could kill the entire cowherd community, or protect them, if you so wished. So what difference does it make to you if you kill this one girl?

The sakhi is being ironic when she says that her heart is hard, and really means the complete opposite. Krishna really was wrong to leave Radha all alone like that. If anyone is hard-hearted, it is he.

Still something missing there. The sakhi is telling Krishna: No one is going to tell you if what you did was right or wrong. But I am hard-hearted enough, in other words, I am not going to worry about your feelings, because I think you did her wrong. [The way she says it is polite, that is why it is an example of dakshina.] Radha was not thinking of herself when she asked you to carry her, because even when she is acting as a svadhina bhartrika, her only thought is to give you pleasure.

Wow. I have always wondered about this incident. It seems so hurtful for Krsna to have done that and there doesn't seem to be the same kind of give-and-take as other pastimes. The explanation of Radha being proud just doesn't seem right. Not that she wasn't but Krsna's response is so unjustified. Do you know of other elucidations or rebuttals?

(Not sure I should be posting here but it is one of those topics that I always wanted to understand. Pls delete or move as appropriate.)

I think Prema-samputa has something. Adwaitaji translated that, I believe. Perhaps he could post the relevant portion. [And then you can buy his book. Help Raganuga devotees live and worship their deities!]

I just noticed that Prema-samputa was not available on the GGM, so I checked to see what I had. I posted the Prema Samputika version I had, but it is full of mistakes. If someone would like to please proofread this copy, I would greatly appreciate it. I have marked the problematic passages in red.

I haven't had a chance to look at these closely, but the verses and translations don't seem to match. I'll have to fix this later.

tasmAd idaM jahat pala-mAtram eva
nirdUSaNAM vinayinIM prathamaM vidhAya |
mantuM sva-mUrdhny akhilam eva dadhAm RNI syAM
tAH snehayAni nikhilA api sarvathA syAm ||83||

“After abandoning the gopis in the rasa dance He also left Me. Listen to why He did this. The prince of Vraja is an ocean of divine love, and He considers Me to be the greatest of His lovers. I can never take offense at His behaviour.

vaizleSika-jvaram apAram atulyam asyAH
sandarzya vismaya-mahAbdhiSu majjitAnAm |
sva-prema-garvam api nirdhunavAny athainAn
tAbhir mahAdhikatamAm anubhAvayAmi ||84||

“He seated Me on a divine throne of matchless good fortune and adorned Me with many kinds of jewel-like pastimes, wandering from one forest to another with Me, and enjoying loving pastimes with Me without remembering any other gopi. Then I thought to Myself: ‘My girlfriends cannot see this great nectar-ocean of bliss. Where are they now, afflicted by separation? What shall I do?

sambhoga eSa sakalAdhika eva vipra-
lambho’pi sarva-zata-koTi-guNAdhiko’stu |
tAbhyAM zuciH parama-puSTim upaitu cAsyAn
tA hrepayatv alam imAn tu gurUkarotu ||85||

“If We wait here for a moment, the sakhis who are wandering here and there looking for Us will soon find Us.’ Thinking like this, I told Krishna: ‘Dearest one, I cannot go any further.’ And we sat down for a moment.

kAmI harir bhavati no yad asau vihAya
premAdhikA api raho ramate tu tasyAm |
itthaM vadantya iha samprati yA ruSAsyA
AlIs tudanti bahu nAv api dUSayanti ||86||

“Sri Krishna, the crown jewel of clever pranksters, and the foremost relisher of transcendental mellow, knew what was on My mind and thought to Himself: ‘If I wander through the forest with Srimati Radharani there will be no happiness. All the gopis will become sad, and if We both wait for them here they will find us and chastise Us for leaving them. Then all our lilas will stop for the night and the gopis will go home without dancing the rasa dance with Me.’

tA eva koTi-guNitA virahe tv amuSyAH
premAgni-bADabha-zikhAH paricAyayAmi |
yAbhir balAd upagatAd avalihyamAnAH
sva-prema-dIpa-dahanAyitam eva vidyuH ||87||

“Therefore He left Me, so that the gopis would put the blame on Him instead of Me, and they would love Me in all respects. He thought: ‘They will be immersed in an ocean of astonishment after seeing Her matchless fever of separation from Me. Their pride of their love for Me will be diminished and they will see how Radha is billions of times better than all of them, in the mood of union and in separation.

evaM ca setsyato mad-Ipsitam aikyam AsAM
rAsAkhya-nATyam anu maNDalatAM gatAnAm |
madhye mayA saha rucA tu virAjamAnAm
enAM vilokya na bhaved api kAcid IrSyA ||88||

“He thought: ‘They may think that I am lusty, and that is why I left them to play with Srimati Radharani , although their love for Me is much greater than Hers. Thus they may accuse Us. But when they are burned by the flames of separation from Me that burn Srimati Radharani, as they come closer to Her, they will realize that these flames are much higher than the insignificant fires of their love.

kaSTaM kadApi sukha-sampad-udarkam eva
mitrApamitram api yacchati tad-dhitaiSi |
tIvrAJjanair yad api mUrcchayanti sva-dRSTim
Ayatyati dyutimatIM kurute janas tAm ||89||

“He thought: ‘I want them all to unite, and in this way My desire will be fulfilled. At the same time they will not be jealous when I later dance in the middle of the circle of the rasa dance, with Srimati Radharani as the central gopi. Just as one is ultimately helped by an eye-ointment that initially burns, similarly a well-meaning friend sometimes has to give pain to his friend to help him.’

ityAtta-yuktir urasA sarasaM vahan mAM
gatvA padAni katicin mRdula-pradeze |
atrAsyatAM kSaNam apIti nidhAya tatrai-
vAste sma me nayana-gocaratAM jahan saH ||90||

“O goddess. Thinking like this, Krishna lovingly carried Me on His chest for a while and then said: ‘Dearest One, just wait here for a moment.’ Then He left Me behind in a soft place.

dRSTvA mamAtivikalatvam apAsta-dhairyo
dAtuM sva-darzanam iyeSa yadA tadaiva |
gopyaH sakhI-vitatayaz ca sametya tA mat
sandhukSaNe samayatanta nitAnta-taptAH ||91||

91. “When Krishna saw how upset I was about this He felt very sorry, but just as He was about to return to console Me, My girlfriends came and found Me there and comforted Me in My mood of intense separation.

These are the same verses in another translation. I think this one is Advaita's. No idea where I got it from. The numbers are off here, too.

80. “He seated me on the jeweled throne of my most incomparable good fortune and decorated me with the ornaments of his wanton dalliance. As we wandered from forest to forest the remembrance of any other beautiful mistress did not even enter his mind.

81. “At that time I thought for a moment, 'My dear friends couldn't be here to experience this festival of frolicking in an immense ocean of the sweetest nectar. They must be burning in the fever of separation from us. I wonder what they are doing now?' If both of us sit down here for awhile, then my sakhis will find us as they anxiously wander hither and thither.' Thinking in this way I said to my beloved, 'Dearest! I can't walk any farther. Let us sit down for awhile and rest here.'

82. “The crest jewel of all clever persons could, however, immediately intuit my thoughts and emotions. Drawing on this own wealth of deceitful artifice, the foremost among all dilettantes took counsel within his own heart:
“'If I continue to wander about in these groves with Sri Radhika there is little chance of our obtaining any happiness, since she is aggrieved within, while thinking of the distressed situation of her friends. If we remain here then the gopis will confront me with their crooked glances, bent with malicious jealousy, while they take Sri Radhika to task as well. Thus also will commence the end of our amorous diversion. They will simply all end up going home angry and therefore the pleasure of our Rasa dance will be rendered null and void.'

83. “'If the pleasure pastime of our Rasa dance remains unfulfilled then the request that Radhika so eagerly and curiously made of me that day will also remain unaccomplished-'He Priyatam! (Darling!) Can you embrace simultaneously hundreds of thousands of tens of millions of hundreds of millions (arbudlaksakoti) of these most chaste and virtuous gopis? Somehow or other this ardent desire has come upon me. Please fulfill my aspiration by conferring this divine vision upon me.'

84. "So in this case that request of hers will remain unfulfilled. Therefore, firstly I will have to abandon Sri Radhika as well, but only for a few moments. This is in her own best interests since whatever pride she has accumulated due to her immense good fortune will thus be alleviated. In this way I will humble her and make her free from any faults. Taking all blame upon my own head I will show the other gopis that Radhika is completely innocent. In forsaking Sri Radhika I will thus admit that I am unable to reciprocate her unlimited affection for me and so I will become a debtor to her. By behaving in this way the bond of tender affection shared between the gopis and Radhika will be enhanced.'

85. “'Furthermore, when the gopis witness the infinite agony that Sri Radhika feels in separation from me they will be plunged into an ocean of astonishment. Seeing her deep and unfathomable love for me they will consequently be able to understand that the pride they cherished in their hearts as a result of what they thought was their own great love for me is now rendered meaningless (in comparison to the love of Sri Radha). Hence, will I imbue within their hearts the superexcellence of Sri Radhika's position.'

86. “'Let the other gopis observe, that not only does the ecstasy of love in union find its greatest revelation in Sri Radhika, but the pain of separation that she feels from me is also hundreds of tens of millions (satakoti) of times greater than that experienced by any of the other gopis. Let them feel the shame of realising that the erotic sentiments find their greatest nourishment in the manifestations of Sri Radha's love, both in union and separation. Thus will it become evident to the beautiful gopis of Vraja that Sri Radhika should be seen as the primal preceptor in all of these matters.'

87. “'Now they are all thinking and discussing among themselves, 'Krishna is so lusty and that's why he's left us to go off and enjoy with Sri Radhika alone, deeming her to be the most amorous.' So they are all angry and feeling hurt because of this and thus accuse Sri Radha and myself as the chief culprits in this affair. Yet now I will help them to understand that the flame of the fire of Sri Radhika's love burns tens of millions of times brighter when placed within the waters of separation. If they go near Sri Radha as she languishes in her love-sick state they will perceive that the flames of their own fires of love-in-separation, as they try to lick the flame of the fire of Sri Radhika, are in comparison only small lamps, whereas hers is a submarine conflagration.'

88. “'In this manner will the mental state of these beautiful young gopis of Vraja, who so ardently desire me, be established in its natural state of equipoise. Accordingly, when they form themselves into the circle of our Rasa dance and then see that Sri Radhika is situated in the centre with me as the most brilliant jewel in the locket formed by our circle, they will not feel the slightest jealousy.”

89. “'Just as people sometimes render their own eyes temporarily ineffective by putting very acrid collyrium on them, that they may become even more bright and beautiful, similarly, a well-wishing friend may sometimes put his or her friend into a distressful condition only that that friend might achieve the greatest happiness in the future.'” *

* In other words, 'Though Radhika will be grief-stricken by my abandoning her, even so, she will then realise the greatest joy when we are again united.'

90. “Thus did it come to pass, that my dearest beloved, after deliberating on the matter in this way, very affectionately embraced me to his chest and then, after carrying me a few more steps requested me to sit down in one very pleasant place. After seating me there he then very promptly disappeared.

91. “Seeing my very unnerved and unbalanced condition brought about by intense lamentation due to separation from him, Sri Krishna himself felt very apprehensive and was just about to comply with his own desire to again return to me when the other gopis, my sakhis, found me. They became that much more aggrieved to see my pitiful plight and thus applied their full attention in trying to console and comfort me.