Looking for a solution - To a vexing problem

I know this is not really related directly to Gaudiya topics, except for those sadhus that see everything in connection with yugala-kishora, but I thought some of you smart and resourceful folks might have some good suggestions.

Our house is of the architectural style known as raised ranch, which means you have to walk up a few stairs to enter. In front is a small concrete landing with concrete steps. This is a favorite spot for animals to burrow under, especially on one side hidden by a hedgerow. We don't know exactly which of the many possum, rabbits, chipmunks, raccoons, feral cats and skunks in the area are digging, since they always come around at night when no one is around.

It could be a skunk, and we have been smelling one in the worst way on occasion - the offensive odor can actually wake you up from deep sleep - its that powerful. The other varmints are not so obnoxious, except for the raccoons when they chew and claw holes in the roof.

Anyways, we have tried all sorts of things from calling the village animal control department to set traps to putting bobcat urine dispensers nearby to sprinkling hot chili pepper in the ground. The only thing that seems to keep them away is a bright spotlight next to the landing. I would like to come up with something better. I suppose we could set up an electric fence perimeter, but then how do you control the wattage so as to only deter and not seriously injure or kill, plus what about the danger to small children that might happen to wander by?

Anybody?

Mina-ji,
How was that pastime that a Brahmana was meditating and a mouse start to disturb him...



Any similarity is just a mere reflection of the material world.

Yes, get a pet wolf. That should keep the little gremlins away.

O yes! Do not forget to get a cow, so you can give fresh milk daily to the little wolf…Well, probably you will not need all that (thanks for the economical and ecological disasters on the planet), nowadays anyone can get their pet’s food at every corner... Of course, there are always the positive sides; one can keep up his bhajan without having the trouble to feed the animals like in the old times...

I keep wondering which kind of analogies will the future generation make on us; “Then he left the temple, then he got a house, then he needed a car, then a computer, then a cell phone…. By the time he got old he realized how good was to be the temple president’s good friend…. Haaa, haaa, haaa…”

Sorry, I'm not in a good mood.

I thought of building a moat with alligators, but they would probably either freeze to death in the winter or be moving so slowly that they would not be able to catch anything at all. The wolf could pass for a German Shepherd with the neighbors, but the veterinarian would not be so easily fooled. Maybe Sigfried and Roy would sell me one of their pet tigers. That would even keep the wolves away!

With Michael Jackson's current woes, I ought to be able to pick up a giraffe or two at a very reasonable price soon when they have the Neverland Ranch auction. Then I need to tear the roof off the garage and add a couple stories on so the giraffes can stand in there to keep warm in the cold weather. At least they would keep the next door neighbors' tree well trimmed, which the village does not want to do on a regular basis (despite all of the money they rob from us in taxes), and all of those little branches that always fall in our yard whenever the wind kicks up would no longer be a problem.

Maybe Pagal Baba can get one of his alien buddies to flash alarming lights from a flying saucer at night to scare off the little buggers.

While I'm at it, maybe I'll get a couple of sheep to keep the lawn manicured and sell the lawn mower on eBay.

I decided upon a low tech, yet simple and organic approach. Every time the furry little pest digs a hole, I am filling it with pea gravel. That ought to put a damper on his enthusiasm.

Well, guess what? He dug out the pea gravel. Back to the drawing board. Our friends in Arizona put plastic snakes by their orange tree to keep some birds away. So, I think that is worth a try. If that doesn't work, maybe we can get one of those new small androids and program it to wave its arms and make loud sounds then it detects any movement nearby.

Have you thought of installing one of those lights that lights up when the sensor detects movement?

Not only have I thought of it - I mentioned it to the wife a couple times already. We actually have one over the garage door off the alley, but it has some timer mechanism that is inexplicable without the instructions (who knows where the people who sold the house put those). So, I guess its off to the home improvement store, as soon as spring arrives and the ground is no longer frozen solid and he can start his burrowing activities once again.

What works with smaller rodents like mice is to put steel-wool into a hole. To chew into that is so unpleasent for them that they run away in disgust. But maybe your guys will start to dig next to it?

Well, I drove rebar spikes into the ground (structural steel), but he (she?) just digs in between them. I put a light on a motion detector, but that just startles him (her?) and then he sprays the house with that horrible concentrated musk that smells like someone is burning old tires. I put out camphor and ammonia, as well as moth balls, but that did not keep him away. I laid wire mesh over where he was digging and put rocks on top of it. That seems to be working, at least for now. The next step is for me to get some barbed wire to fence off the area. The wife wants the game warden to put out traps, but I don't see that as a long term solution. Skunks have a territory of thirty to forty acres, and if you trap one and move it to the forest preserve, another will just come in to take over its territory. Part of the problem is the chipmunk that lives in the back yard. They are one of the favorite foods of skunks, along with field mice and black widow spiders. I think he (she?) has been hanging around the house in hopes of catching the chipmunk. I think they have to somehow ambush them, because chipmunks run really fast.

Well, since you mentioned that they don't go where there is another one, how about investigating whether there are skunks without the spray-gland, and whether you could keep one as a pet? Then the territory is occupied --- or is that only so when it smells? Or how about getting skunk spray and mark the territory as occupied, once in a while?

Another solution: import those Mumbai bhaktas who do a nightly kirtan outside your house. Then you need only a noise protection wall towards the neighbours and sound-proof windows for yourself. Or you leave the house to them and move to the forest yourself to sleep. Or change your life-style and become night-active yourself. Maybe the skunk shaves up after a while?

Or better even, dress up in a skunk suit and jump around the yard when the other skunk comes in. Before you do that, though, do figure out whether the other one is male or female and choose the dress accordingly.

Now here is a serious answer in the form of another question: Couldn't you read your problem as an arrangement by Srimati for you to attract a deserving soul into your court-yard desiring to earn your attention for initiation by taking care of your skunk problem every night, just as Sri Narottam das did under slightly dissimilar circumstances? (Only: What happens after diksha? Then you need another, and another, and another. So Sri Skunk could be the beginning of a devotional avalanche until you have your own kunj at a lake somewhere where everyone would be happy if only more skunk-seva opportunities showed up.)

You should give a call to Pagal Baba to have him come over and initiate the skunk.

Well, then he starts to spray in ecstasy all the time...

All good suggestions and questions. As far as keeping a pet as a skunk, they apparently make excellent pets, especially when the musk glands have been removed. (Not surprising, considering that they are in the weasal family along with ferrets). However, a friend of mine says that his mother used to keep a skunk as a pet with the stinker intact. That could be a problem for a burglar, but also for the homeowner, because not only will the burglar get sprayed, but the inside of the house as well.

Well, the wife is kind of bloodthirsty at this point. She made the village bring over a trap, which was out in the yard for four nights. By state law the animals have to be euthanized, the reason being that there is no rabies vaccine for skunk bites. If we catch an opossum or raccoon in the trap, it will be relocated as long as it is not rabid. So, for the skunk's sake, I am glad it did not wander into the trap. At any rate, we were instructed by the animal control officer to install wire mesh all along the concrete steps where the animal has been trying to dig a burrow. So, I will be getting out the shovel and putting my back into it later this week. I think Mr (or Mrs?) skunk has found somewhere else in the neighborhood to dig a burrow. So far the only thing that has wandered into the trap is some ants that are eating the food in there.