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On not escalating issues - Our third principle



Madhava - Wed, 23 Feb 2005 22:37:16 +0530
I would like to elaborate on the third of our sacred principles of peaceful and fruitful exchanges. I feel it is particularly relevant now, as we are undergoing a variety of reforms and trying to establish ourselves on a new course.

QUOTE(Our Principles and Guidelines)
3 - Please don't bicker with others, avoid escalating issues. Sometimes it is wiser to let things pass instead of taking everything to task. If you really need to fight with someone, please do it in private.

In a public forum, it is unavoidable that we'll be facing people who come and sometimes say outrageous and painfully stupid things. That seems to be one of the laws of nature we are unable to change. The challenge, then, is facing such situations with dignity and without escalating the situation.

What do you do when you feel you've just bumped into an idiot, then? First of all, if the post you see appears to be too outrageous to fit in the forums to begin with, you needn't start playing a moderator. Rather, you can alert an actual moderator by clicking on the "Report this post" button found at the bottom right corner of the post. If the post is really out of bounds, then rest assured, we'll take care of it.

Then, if you see a post that isn't outrageous but just appears plain stupid or unreasonable, what do you do? You needn't label the idea as stupid, and moreover you needn't label the poster as stupid. You can respectfully point to the reasons why you feel the post isn't too sensible, if you truly feel a fruitful dialogue with the poster is possible to begin with. You can demonstrate why an idea is in your view stupid, but you needn't say it straight out, especially not without explaining why so.

When people do not pay proper attention to the above, we'll end up with heated exchanges that are prolonged over several pages and rarely lead anywhere but the participants' mutual frustration. You'll only end up with a situation where everyone feels offended, which in turn benefits no-one.

Please consider the above carefully and try to be considerate in all of your posts, especially in potential conflict situations. A considerate person can avoid creating a conflict. If in a conflict, a considerate person can steer his way out in a dignified manner. If in a conflict of which he cannot steer his way out, a thoughtful person will contact a moderator with hopes of having the conflict split off his tail by a third party.
Tamal Baran das - Thu, 24 Feb 2005 02:50:52 +0530
I will admit that i did try to intervene in some way with Ksamabuddhi whenever he came again on the Forum.
I apologize to Moderators here and anybody affected.
I am myself usually not a person who likes to report people and do things behind somebodys back, rather i ask or write straight the person or group in question.

A while ago i posted my personal opinion on Iskcon issue and i was dissected by some members on the Forum. It was first time ever i did that, but at the same time i avoided any further discussions by simply not responding. I simply have put the whole issue to rest.

We are all different human beings, even by being in a same sampradaya or parivar,following the same sadhana, people will still have their angles of looking at certain issues. We may disagree in some issues, because it is impossible to have everything absolutely the same, but we have to keep in mind that we are following the same path(s) (by that i am thinking of devotees which are following Traditional Gaudiya Caitanya Parivar), and respect values and rules outlined by moderators of this Forum.
Madhava - Fri, 25 Feb 2005 15:00:04 +0530
I would like to reiterate that people should be resolving their conflicts in PMs. It is easy to say something about someone in public. However, it is quite hard to say the same thing directly to that person in private. If you have comments about someone, but not to someone, please dont post them. They are not very likely the kinds of things that are beneficial for anyone.

Further, to avoid misunderstandings leading to inconvenient situations, be sure you understand what another says before you comment on that, and this is particularly important when you are about to condemn or criticize someone. If you are unsure of what another said, don't criticize.