Is Hell exothermic or endothermic? - Boyle's Law of Thermodynamics

The following is supposedly an actual question given

on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term.
The answer by one student was so "profound" that the

professor shared it with colleagues, via the

Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the

pleasure of enjoying it as well.





Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat)

or endothermic (absorbs heat)?





Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs

using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and

heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One

student, however, wrote the following:




First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is

changing in time. So we need to know the rate at

which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at

which they are leaving. I think that we can safely

assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not

leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.




As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look

at the different religions that exist in the world

today. Most of these religions state that if you are

not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions and

since people do not belong to more than one

religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.




With birth and death rates as they are, we can

expect the number of souls in Hell to increase

exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of

the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that

in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to

stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand

proportionately as souls are added.





This gives two possibilities:




1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the

rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature

and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell

breaks loose.




2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the

increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and

pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.





So which is it?




If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa

during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold

day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into

account the fact that I slept with her last night,

then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that

Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.





The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has

frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any

more souls and is therefore extinct. . . leaving

only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a

divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa

kept shouting "Oh my God."


THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A" !

Do I need to go to Snopes or can we trust you on the authenticity here, Babu?

Well, I question the assumptions of whoever wrote this charming analysis. Although it is a great piece of humor.

First of all:



Some religions believe this, some don't. One of the religions which allows for the possibility of redemption even from hell may turn out to be correct, at least on this point.

Next:



Not all religions state this, they could all be wrong on this point anyway, and we have no proof either way regarding how many souls will enter hell. It may be very few or most, depending on what the true criteria turns out to be. Any attempt to answer the question even in theory pretty much breaks down right here.

We also have no information about Hell's capacity, so the rest of the analysis breaks down even before referencing the charming and common "when hell freezes over" comment.

However, whichever it turns out to be, I am covered because I just received my "Get Out of Hell Free" cards.

Don't leave your body without it!